Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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