I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
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