My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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