We're like a lot better than the average bears
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
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