so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
