is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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