I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
where does the pee come out of this thing
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
