Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
