my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
