turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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