I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
