OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
