Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
