If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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