I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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