Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Randomize
