There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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