Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
