Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
