hotel room ftw
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
