Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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