you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
