My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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