I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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