i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I stole a fireplace last night.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
