whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
