So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
im having a threesome with these popsicles
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
