I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
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She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
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My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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