operation harelip BJ is a go
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
There are leaves in my underwear?
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
