My hand turned me down
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
