I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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