real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize