I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
