im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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