My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
