Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Randomize
