Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
