I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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