So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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