Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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