Redeem this text for a blowjob
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
