I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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