I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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