This is not my ceiling
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
