wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
