Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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