The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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