p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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