If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize
