Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
