he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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