I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
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