Got a toothbrush?
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
