Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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