Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize