ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize
