Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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