1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
