i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
