better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
